Janice Laverne Matson's Obituary
I can picture our mother saying these things….
“Please cry for only a short while. Laugh more, and remember how full my life has been.
I have loved so many in my 93 years. Recount these wonderful memories when you dine together and share stories, toast Charles and me, and view our family pictures. I want you to laugh, a hearty robust laugh that is hard to stop, as you recall those fun moments when we just did life in a spectacular way. Yes, I did love to do the twist, and I got down as far as I could when we celebrated granddaughter Michelle’s wedding. I know I turned my clichés around a bit, ‘straighten up and die right,’ when it should have been ‘fly right,’ but it was much more fun that way. Yes, I complained that the piecrust was never quite perfect, but I loved to see you all enjoy it, and I loved making it for you. It was the best when you told me another baby would be coming into the world. I could not get enough of holding them and singing the song that didn’t make sense…’Nah Nah Do,’ and rocking, rocking, rocking them to sleep. It worked. I WAS the baby whisperer and loved it. Then there was cooking, which I loved to do for you all. Ravioli, minestrone soup, leg of lamb, and every meal had to have a salad with Italian dressing, right? Colleen disliked avocados, but I worked my magic, subtly hiding them among the lettuce leaves and tomatoes. Dancing and eating out with Charles’s sisters, brother, and their spouses was the best. They were the sisters I never had. I will join them now and boy will the heavens rock with our dancing. Yes, I liked keeping my house clean and everything in its place so that whoever came to visit felt warm and welcome. I especially loved chatting about your lives, giving my opinion, of course only if you asked. At times, if I didn’t know what to say, I would say, ’Let me get my tinking cap on’ and then that gave me time to have a great answer! Then there was playing cards. Don’t let them tell you I wrestled someone for a card I needed…not true. I wonder if they play ’Oh Hell’ in Heaven???”
Those were things I could hear our mother saying which helped us to discuss this grand lady we called momma, Jan, wife, grandmother, great grandmother, sister-in-law, friend, neighbor, and simply a beautiful woman both inside and out. What a beauty she was! Dad must have always been in awe of her. A devout Catholic, her faith in the Lord was strong. She may have believed it was God’s plan to orchestrate her going to heaven together with her husband, Charles. As a believer, she knew God’s hand touched everything in her life. She loved a sweet movie with a tear jerker ending much like the “The Notebook”. She would have loved that movie, much like her own story. “After all,” she would say, “we did everything together except to water the lawn and do the dishes.” It’s a fitting ending to a beautiful journey; two people that loved each other on earth, and entered into eternity to be with their glorious Lord whom they both praised on earth.
In writing our mother’s story, it was helpful to think how she would want her story told. She was not so much of a facts person. She did have a history of school, work, loves, and life-changing events, but they were second to just loving God and her family. Many may never have heard her stories, as dad was the inventor, engineer, chemist, and bomber pilot. Mom always sat quietly while he engaged us in his stories. She was fine with that since she was just that kind of person. She was a polite woman, and her joy was listening to others. Well, here is the rest of her story.
Second born to Italian parents, Nickolas Mathew Gianelli and Carolina (Lena) Francis Crespi, she had one brother, Robert (Bob) Gianelli. She was raised on a farm in Stockton, California and lived a very modest life. She moved to live with her grandparents for 6th- 8th grade in Angels Camp, California. Life was more upscale there, with her uncle owning the local movie theatre and bank. Her Grandmother, Noni, spoke 3 languages (Italian, Latin, English). Mom remembered that they prayed on their knees every night by their bed. Her entertainment was playing with old toys, and she inherited her brother’s bike. Janice, (mom) learned to play piano, embroider, and crochet hats with fabric and felt. Then she moved back to Stockton and went to St. Mary’s High School. Her graduating class numbered 49. She loved sports, playing volleyball, tennis, and softball. Her mom told her she was always a tom boy. She graduated in 1940. She said she was a late bloomer and only dated in groups. When mom was in her 20’s, she had her first date. It became tragic when a car crash killed her date and she spent a long time hospitalized. It was hard for her to go back to college, so she worked as a phone operator and then in the civil service during WWII. She had good secretarial skills and was in charge of six employees.
She met our father, Charles, with friends on a blind date to the bowling alley. Mom was an excellent bowler. After a tournament she was in, she then played a game with Charles and the other men and beat them all. She thought dad was quite handsome and dad said mom was “out of this world beautiful.” Although dad was not mom’s date, they reconnected and the rest is history. On September 23, 1945, they married in the home of dad’s sister, Melvina, and husband Frank Guasti in Pont Loma, California. They had 3 daughters, Carolyn Matson Couch, Dyann Matson Koffman, and Colleen Matson. Our father was in the United States Air Force, so our family traveled to many wonderful places; Africa, Europe, Nebraska, and California. In 1969, dad retired and the family settled in El Cajon, California. In 2000, they moved to Escondido, California, their last home. It was a wonderful life and these are a few memories from her children.
Carolyn…1st Daughter. Thank you mom. You have taught us how to be good parents, spouses, and people, by your example. We have learned to love the Lord because of you. Enjoy your new life with the Lord, until we see you again in heaven, as that is God’s Promise. I loved watching you with my children and then their children. I remember as though it was yesterday, when Beckham was in his bouncer next to your chair. You would clap your hands as he went higher and he smiled, and then you would start singing to him. You both wore each other out, and I had time to finish the dishes. You loved those babies and had that special touch. As time went on and your memory lessened, we just laughed at life. I remember you loved it when I made a meal. You would say it was wonderful, even if it was only hot cereal. I remember once you trying to eat the plastic fruit. My funniest memory was when Colleen had the Christian radio station on and you would repeat what you heard. The minister was talking about stopping the porn in school, and all day long you shouted out…”No Porn Now”….I had such a good laugh. I love you mom, now and forever.
Dyann…Second daughter. Mom was a loving and quiet spirit, but also a “spit fire.”
I loved to hear her sing along with songs from her era, click her tongue as she played with babies, watch her fun and quirky movements on the dance floor, and raise her eyebrows, look at us, and smile as dad was about to tell one of his life stories again. I could always count on mom to listen and give me her most heart-felt advice. She also had a spunky sense of humor. We would laugh when she said, "You're catching flies, Charles!" whenever dad would fall asleep in his chair, with his head cocked back and mouth wide open. When she was confused or surprised, she would say with a laugh, "Come to the party, Janice," “Holy Toledo,” or "Oh goodnight." When her feet were tired, she'd say "My dogs are barking." She was a wonderful cook and hostess. She would prepare her house, dinner table, and holiday meals a week in advance, all by herself. Everything was perfect. I remember how much fun we had during our visits and vacations together, and how she would fill up with tears when our trip came to an end. Everyone that saw a picture of her or met her, even in her last years, would say "She's so beautiful!" Everything about her was beautiful- so full of life.
I loved how she said her famous toast in Italian…”Salute, Besatos, e oventooth — health, wealth and happiness. Now take a sip of wine and say cheers.” Mom, I love you with all my heart, and will miss you and dad so much.
Colleen…third daughter. She was the protector, always staying awake to make sure I came home safely at night. Lovingly, she would spit in her hand and brush my bangs back before I went to grade school. She listened to baseball with her little transistor radio as she walked around cleaning up the house. She watched me play softball and soothed my injuries, but also wanted me to be tough about them too. She loved my animals dearly and endured a crazy dog with laughter. As the Alzheimer’s disease progressed, she would cuss me out only to ask for forgiveness minutes later, knowing she had forgotten who I was and what she was even angry about. I will miss her desperately…same as dad. While they were both somewhat reserved in their emotional demonstrations, down deep, they were there for us. My God and my Lord, what I have wished for…that I had hugged more, loved more, kissed more, helped more. My God, what we have lost, and what we have to look forward to, being with them again someday in time eternity, whole again, and with the knowledge of our love and our Lord’s. May God truly bless them with His comfort in heaven.
Best of all, was her advice to all of us on her 90th birthday. She said, “I feel young and fry.”
(she meant “spry.”). I can still enjoy long walks and bowling.” We asked her what her secret was to living such a long and happy life. She said, “Pray! Let the Lord know you love Him. I thank Him for all of my children, who are the source of my happiness, and thank the Lord for letting me have my husband for all these years.” When asked if she’d like to live to be 100, she said, “Yes, whatever the Lord wishes, I am willing.” When asked if she looks forward to heaven, she said. “Yes, but when I get to heaven, I hope to see and meet my family at the pearly gates.”
*Please see Charles A. Matson obituary for information about funeral events and times, and memorial donations.
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