Barbara Ann Pettingell's Obituary
Barbara Ann Pettingell, born Nov 19, 1952 in Oakland to the late Edward and Ellen Baum,
was our mother, sister, nana, auntie, and friend. She loved and she loved and she loved
her family so much. When we learned that she had cancer, I, her son, tried to ask her about
her past, to piece together a complete picture of the woman that she was. She told me about
her first husband, and their first child together, Michelle, who was stillborn. Crushed by
the loss, they drove across the country, from Virginia to California in her '67 Mustang.
She had two more kids with him, my sisters Dawn and Heather. They ended up divorced, and
she tried to create a life with her daughters. She would load them into a buggy and pull them
behind her bike to go to Palomar College. She met my dad there, and when her bike broke,
he gave her a new one, and fashioned it with a motor, and that was the first step in their
29 year long marriage. She transferred to UCSD and got her BA in French Literature, and then went to Cal Western Law School. She served as a Deputy District Attorney for the County of San
Diego, "Putting crooks in jail," as she put it. Then Heather tragically died in a car
accident when she was only 18. She had only just had me earlier that year, and my sister
two years earlier. She was, once again, devastated by losing a child, but my sister and I
gave her hope, and my father's unconditional love for her knew no bounds. Then her best
friend was murdered, and she was diagnosed with Hepatitis C. She fought hard despite her
deep sadness, because she had to for her family, and she won the battle. It bought her
enough time to raise her family, and make it whole, and keep it safe, and pass on her love.
As we sat and watched her pass, she sent out her love, and it bound us all together. She was
always the rock, the center, the foundation, the strong one. She said, "In the end, all there
is, is love." She was so proud of all of her children, she had raised us to accomplish great
things. She poured her soul into all of her endeavors, whether it was education, career, or
most importantly, family and motherhood. We will never forget her fire and her passion
and her spark that could light up even the darkest darkness, and her happiness even in
tragedy. We love you so much.
What’s your fondest memory of Barbara?
What’s a lesson you learned from Barbara?
Share a story where Barbara's kindness touched your heart.
Describe a day with Barbara you’ll never forget.
How did Barbara make you smile?
